VNNnow has obtained a copy of the Tender Notice
for the sale of PIA that will be appearing in all major international newspapers!
Tender Notice 2017/193CTR/PIA/AIR/420
SALE OF PAKISTAN INTERNATIONAL AIRLINE (PIA) aka PLEASE INFORM ALLAH I am taking off
Bids are invited for the sale of one (1) airline comprising of the following items:
- Planes (15) in state of repair from non-functional to nearly-functional.
- 150 Bakras (black) as safety insurance. Note that the Bakras must be sacrificed before take-off (following correct Islamic principles)on the tarmac not more than 10 feet away from the nose of the plane
Courtesy Javed Iqbal
- Fifty pilots. Some have following problems:
- Narcolepsy. This disorder causes extreme daytime sleepiness and sudden episodes of deep sleep.
- Tendency towards sexual harassment
- Inability to count correctly (could result in overloading the plane)
- Some have fake degrees
- 250 cabin crew. All crew members can curse in Urdu, English, Pashtu and Sindhi. Crew is specially trained in accommodating passengers in standing room mode. Some cabin crew members are suffering from:
- Anger issues
- Weight issues
- Tendency for smuggling
PIA is the only airline in the world that offers First Class+ seats for a birds eye view!
- Following items seized from the crew or hidden in the aircrafts by the customs are also included :
- 10 kg of heroin
- 20 Kgs of miscellaneous drugs
- 200 Apple iphones (brand new)
- Ten crates (15 cubic feet each) designer perfumes and other cosmetics
- Deadline: 14 August 2017
- All bids will include minimum 10% goodwill. Bids with higher goodwill will be given preference
- Any form of bribery to win the tender is strictly forbidden if the bribe amount is less than $10 Million.