Suggested Examination Paper for CSS

Vaqar Ahmed

Picture Courtesy The Daily Times

Reports have recently appeared in the press that the candidates for the Central Superior Services (CSS) are performing very badly on the entrance examination. In 2016, 98% of the candidates failed the exam. However the silver lining in this bad news is that women are doing much better than men.

I have a sense that the bad performance of the candidates is due to the poor choice of questions. For example why should a candidate know about the American political system when the Americans don’t care about ours? Or why should they know the result of the battle of Plassey when it was fought such a long time back?

I have therefore attempted to put together an illustrative examination paper that is much more relevant to the modern day realities in Pakistan.

Instructions:

Time: 20 minutes

Important: Anyone caught cheating will be directly hired in grade 17 but with no promotion for life.

Q1: What is the biggest problem facing Pakistan?

  1. Diabetes due to excessive mithai consumption
  2. Heretical content on social media
  3. Sale of donkey meat
  4. Gutka addiction

Q2: Who is most capable of solving Pakistan’s problems?

  1. Malik Riaz
  2. President Mamnoon Hussain
  3. Veena Malik
  4. Uzair Baluch

Q3: Which is the most objective TV Channel of Pakistan:

  1. Madni TV
  2. Cartoon TV
  3. The Cooking Channel
  4. Weather Channel

Q4: What is the greatest threat to Pakistan?

  1. India
  2. India
  3. India
  4. All of the above

Q5: What is the most suitable percentage of bribe?

  1. 5%
  2. 10%
  3. 20%
  4. 30%

Q6: The main function of a civil servant is to:

  1. Be present in the office between 10AM and 2 PM
  2. Never do today what can be done tomorrow
  3. Be civil to the servants
  4. Be a servant to those higher in rank

Q7: Which of the below most accurately describes the political system of Pakistan?

  1. Military Dictatorship
  2. Paramilitary Democracy
  3. Anarchic Democracy
  4. Judicial Dictatorship

Q8: What does the acronym KMC stand for?

  1. Kachra Mismanagement Corporation
  2. Karachi Mohajir Committee
  3. Karachi Metropolitan Corruption
  4. Konsi Metropolitan Corporation?

Q9: The well-known economic initiative CPEC stands for?

  1. China Pakistan Economic Confusion
  2. Chinese Plans Extremely Chalaak
  3. China Punjab Economic Corridor
  4. China Pakistan Entertainment Channel

Q10: MNA stands for

  1. Member Not Available
  2. Mostly No Action
  3. Me Not Accountable
  4. Member Neutered Assembly

Q11: IMF stands for

  1. Inconsequently Meager Fund
  2. International Monetary Fraud
  3. International Manipulation Fund
  4. Indian Managed Fund

Q12: Those who send out twitters on sensitive political issues are known as:

  1. Twits (2)ISPR (3) tweeters (4) Woofers

Q13: Misbah-ul-Haq was out on 99 in the second test against West Indies in the 2017 tour because:

  1. He is a spot fixer
  2. Zionist conspiracy
  3. Indian conspiracy
  4. 99 is the highest number he was taught at school

Q14: Those who criticize the establishment in blogs are called:

  1. Anti state
  2. Pro state
  3. Prostate
  4. Apostate

Q15: Which glue Chaudary Nisar uses to keep his hair in place?

  1. Samad Bond
  2. Machi Saresh
  3. Alfie
  4. Yuhu

Q16: The Panamagate verdict is in the favour of:

  1. Nawaz Sharif
  2. Mithai sellers
  3. Imran Khan
  4. TV Talk shows

Q17: Who is responsible for Dawn leaks?

  1. Chacha Karmoo (the tea boy at the meeting)
  2. Julien Assange
  3. Rusted pipe in Dawn Office
  4. Saturday Night Live

Q18: What is the main reason for uncontrolled population growth of Pakistan?

  1. Load shedding
  2. Consumption of donkey meat
  3. Indian conspiracy
  4. Ladies tennis on TV

End

Correct Answers:

1)2 2)2 3)2 4)4 5)2 6)4 7)4 8)3 9)1 10)4 11)2 12)1 13)3 14)4 15)2 16)2 17)1 18)3

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